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about
this isn't an album but a reading of a poem!
also available as a pocket book zine
lyrics
WHERE I SLEPT IN TWENTY TWELVE
a broken boat on trout creek
most porches of st augustine
jacksonville in a bright yellow room
and memory foam and being read to
and on the sidewalks of san antonio
sick and using my friend’s hands as a pillow
in a stranger’s cold stairwell
in south carolina
wrapped in strange blankets and layers
where i probably would have been warmer
if i slept outside in the open
and once in savannah
waking up to all this breakfast
arranged for me on a plate
months later by a double rainbow
in arizony warm rainy sunny afternoon
a golden day that still
couldn’t keep me from spiraling
i ran out of destinations
and came to an end that morning
just the first of many ends that year
endings i’d have to endure up to right now
but also on my mountain in el paso
where i’d been just twice before
the moon and stars like
bright dots in little glimpses
through the valley
over a pitch black road
against a dark blue sky
and city lights far below
where i missed you and my dog
for a second just now
remembering it all wrong
like you were both out there with me
and will it matter if you were not
and once in deland on hardwood floors
laying where the dining room
would be if there was one
aching and wrapped up in moons and stars
in my sister’s first empty home
and on my best friend’s patio in orlando
next to oil lamp dusty second hand books
broken chair and rain and radio
tied up in ribbons and blankets
hanging from windows
inflatable twin mattress above
mountains of cigarette ashes
we slept out there together this one time
instead of inside the apartment
for some reason i don’t know
and in my car in tallahassee
while stray cat sat on hood
he and everything watching over me
and that big bed of texas!
yellow wildflowers
inside a dream
inside a box
inside my car
at super happy fun land
warehouse of couches
where people tripped
and made friends for life
while we sulked far away
and didn’t know what was wrong with us
then miles later in a gravel parking lot
tiny uncomfortable rocks held me
under tucson night sky shooting
star trails like stars hanging
on strings from a ceiling
i watched ‘til i started dreaming
then much later in a hammock
laying too low
touching the ground
in the second bedroom
i made between trees
in a new friends’ arms
chilly free a/c of wintery rooms
chain smoking sometimes
where it tasted like cold
south carolina cigarette of before
back when cigarettes
were still new to me
"i like you very much
and very sweetly”
thinking about times i had
you in my arms instead
all before and after that
at the terminal at the airport
where i worked just a part of my life
sleepwalking every morning
working but i didn’t know what for
three A.M. never felt colder
and on my break one day
feet propped up against the window
counting airplanes
i just smiled and dozed off
"get back to the kitchen!
what are you doing?!”
lonely airport lunch breaks
‘cos there was never a break
from
every
day
but much before that
I slept while you watched movies
in the room where i grew up
after we blew smoke out the window
after we sat under a bridge
after we made meals for one another
after listening to you talk
about a time so pure
in your life
and i could listen to that same movie
play three times over
why can’t i do that for anybody else?
a dark room flickering
i learned happiness
might be the loneliest feeling
'cos before that there were these
fever sleeps
and scary dreaming
in the backseat
rushing right through phoenix to austin
instead of going as slowly as i wanted
the rest of the world swirving
much later in huntsville on a mountain
early evening when it started pouring
sleep next to the overlook
i promised myself
like i promise myself
every other thing i make happen
what kind of dreams will there be
if i sleep while these golden treetops surround me
i promised myself a sweet dream
and then i dreamed something sweet
‘cos i decided i was so tired
of coming to endings
then there in my car in the snow
next to mississippi frozen water stream
dreamed i put my hands on the cold frozen sheet
or maybe it was no dream at all
but another day outside of every day
one of the purest days
though not unlike
all the other ones i think back on
from far away
white green and golden dreams
just me and my dog on christmas day
in a new place
though quite dangerous
inside icy hospital parking lot
inside tornado warnings
mountain draft shakes the car
already on that forever tour
already in love completely
long as i wake up
in a different way
it’s something you gave to me
but you don’t know how you did
but you don’t understand
like how
when i wake up anywhere new
there’s still nothing for me there
like how
i cry when i think
the best year of my life
was your worst
like how you can make me feel everything
a thousand fold
but you can’t feel a thing yourself
like
how everything
being remembered
can only be sweet
so now i try to remember things
just right as they are happening
like how when
just days in a row i went to sleep
where the forever tour ended but
just
for
a
little
moment
in a florida room
on florida street
credits
released June 15, 2014
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